“God I Look to You”

“God, I look to You,
I won’t be overwhelmed
Give me vision to see things like You do
God I look to You, 
You’re where my help comes from
Give me wisdom, 
You know just what to do”

This song came to my mind while we were waiting for Dr. Sharon to tell us if Nyaz can go home to Kurdistan or not.

On our way to the hospital this morning we were quite optimistic as we thought that it’s going to be Nyaz’s last appointment. After Nyaz had her ECG and her echo, Dr. Sharon inspected the images of her heart and realized that she has some fluid in her lungs. Just a tiny bit, but it was sad news as Nyaz has fought against the fluid in her lungs for many weeks since her surgery and everyone was so relieved and happy when there was finally no more fluid.

The atmosphere was a little depressing when we went down to the first floor. Nyaz needed a blood test and an x-ray. Eventually we had to wait for the results to find out if it’s safe for Nyaz to fly home or not. In this maybe three hours of waiting I got very tired and sad, probably because of Nyaz mum’s sadness and also because I didn’t understand God’s plan.

Nyaz was sleeping and while I was leaning my head against her stroller this song came to my mind “God I look to you…”. Of course it brought immediately Psalm 121 to my mind: “I lift my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth…” This gave me confidence and I realized that whatever is going to happen is in God’s hands.

Finally Dr. Sharon came out of her room. She only had time to tell us that Nyaz is alright and can go home to Kurdistan. Thank you God, that you are always in control even if we are not!