Yesterday morning, the day our little Lawik turned three months old and doctors hoped to take him off the ECMO, we suddenly got a call from one doctor: Lawik had deteriorated suddenly and died a few minutes later. Despite the best efforts from all the doctors and nurses at the hospital they couldn’t save him and so Lawik’s sufferings have now, after three surgeries and one week on the ECMO, come to an end.

When we finally reached the hospital coworker Kathy, Petra and I spent the next hours grieving and praying with his mother, while she was stroking his fingers for the last time and telling him over and over again how much she loves him.

“My little son, my beautiful son, praise be to God.”

She started singing for him once again as she always did and heartbreakingly said goodbye to her only beloved son. Lawik’s life – even though short – was a wonderful gift and there is peace in knowing that he was loved so so much, from his family, from us and more than we all possibly could, from God.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Psalms 139:15‭-‬16

This morning, coworker Bria and I drove with his mother again to the hospital to go with her and Lawik’s body in an ambulance to Jerusalem. We stopped by a Palestinian hospital where they washed Lawik and prayed for him.

We continued our way to a Muslim cemetery situated on a ridge of land directly above The Garden Tomb in East Jerusalem.

We met there several other coworkers and buried our little boy as a community; Lawik’s mom and another Kurdish dad standing near.

I’m just impressed by the faith of this mother. She was always the first to say that it is okay, that Lawik is better now. She was the first one to praise our God. She is stronger than all of us and is a huge example for us.

This afternoon she shared with us that shortly before Lawik collapsed yesterday, she was praying to God to either heal him or take him home so that he doesn’t have to suffer anymore. She committed her baby into God’s hands and not long afterwards, God decided to show mercy and took Lawik into his loving arms.

And while we are here on earth still grieving about the physical and emotional loss of this beloved child, we want to remember to turn our eyes to our Messiah who is our hope and future.

O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see.
There’s a light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free.
Through death into life everlasting,
He passed and we follow Him there.

This morning we heard from Lawik’s doctor that he is making very little progress and is improving very slowly. And while it is on the one side good news that he is improving, the doctor told me on the other side that he is not improving as fast as they would want him to or they hoped he would. Nevertheless the doctors told me in the evening right before we left the hospital that they will maybe try to take Lawik off the ECMO tomorrow. It’s a hard decision as every day he is on the ECMO is dangerous for him but also the attempt to take him off is dangerous especially with his still very weak heart. Lord, please give the doctors wisdom in this difficult decision tomorrow morning! Be with all the doctors, Lawik and his mother! Give them strength!

Lawik is slowly getting better after his emergency surgery last night. He still had a lot of bleeding, which is why they thought about getting him into another surgery. But thank God, his bleeding stopped a little and for now he won’t need the surgery. Even so he is improving little by little, he is still in a very dangerous situation, therefore even his mother stayed a long time out of his room today. The doctors don’t want us to go into his room yet as his chest is still open and he’s still on the ECMO. While sitting in the waiting area together, Lawik’s mother meet one of the other mothers whose child is in the ICU, who was in a surgery right at that time. The mother seemed really scared as she was crying when we meet her. Lawik’s mother encouraged her and stayed with her for a long time. Lawik’s mother always amazes us with her way of encouraging others and how in this kind of situation she stays strong and is there for us volunteers. She made sure that we ate something while being in the hospital the whole day and complained about us when Lena and I first said that we weren’t hungry. We are so thankful for her and how she’s a blessing to us in her own way.

Let us continue to pray for Lawik as he needs to improve further and is still in a terrible situation. We want to thank our Lord for staying by Lawik’s and his mother’s side until now and giving especially his mother the strength for everything. Maybe there will come a time where she doesn’t feel like she can be strong anymore, so let’s pray for her and the long journey they have before them.

Last night during dinner we got a call from Lawik’s mother that he is going into an emergency surgery at Sheba Medical right now. During the CT scan they ordered yesterday afternoon, they couldn’t see one of his coronary arteries as they were supposed to, so they decided to take him straight into the OR to find the problem and help his heart to get better.

Coworker Bria and I directly drove to the hospital to be with his mom during this dangerous surgery and then spent the beginning of the night with her in the waiting area praying, talking and laughing together. Lawik’s mother loved to make jokes about everything we said, did or how we are; we were able to forget for a few moments why we were there and how serious the situation was.

Three hours after we arrived in the hospital, one of the surgeons came out and told us that they found a big blood clot in his pulmonary artery, and this was causing his problems. They could successfully remove it. In the echo they did directly after the surgery, they saw that his heart function was already a little bit better.

It took a couple more hours until Lawik was back in his room and until we could go to see him, but we enjoyed the waiting outside of the hospital with two other moms.

The nurse in his room told us that he has still some problems with his blood pressure and that he is receiving some blood transfusions. After seeing Lawik and getting sure that his mom is doing okay, we were glad to leave the hospital again in the middle of the night with such a good outcome.

Lawik has still a big way in front of him and is in a very critical situation, but we hope and pray that slowly slowly he will improve and make steps in the right direction. Thanking God that this surgery went so well and for everything accomplished in his precious life so far. Thank thanking God that Lawik has the opportunity to receive the best care possible right now!

Our little Lawik is still on the ECMO and keeps fighting. His heart though beats not that strong, the doctors don’t really know why. Over the day they thought of many options to find the problem. But for now they will do a CT to get a better overview. At least his bleeding is decreasing and besides the strength of his heart he’s getting more and more stable.

Let’s thank our God for this progress! He’s holding our little Lawik in his hand, as well as his lovely mother. She is so caring, praying all the time and even wants to fast for a few days. Please pray for her, that she will keep her strength, and for the doctors to make the perfect treatment plan for Lawik!

It’s been a week and a half since Lawik had his first surgery and now the second is to follow tomorrow without having closed the chest beforehand. After he had problems with his blood pressure and too much fluid in his body as a result of the first surgery, he has thankfully made progress in the last few days.

This morning the doctors did an echo to get a good picture of the situation before the upcoming surgery.

Thank God the left ventricle is well prepared for the surgery and the blood pressure is okay. Although there is still fluid in the chest, the surgery can take place under these circumstances.

Please pray that Lawik’s condition will continue to improve and that tomorrow’s surgery will go well. May God also bless Lawik’s mother who is very worried about her son.

As we went to the Sheba Medical Center Pediatric ICU for our visits today, we were anxious to hear about Lawik’s condition. Since his surgery a week ago, he has had problems with his blood pressure and excess fluid in his body.

Today the doctor told us that, thank God, Lawik’s blood pressure was better. However, there is still too much fluid in the body so that the chest cannot be closed yet.

Every day, Lawik makes small progress that determine how the doctors will proceed. The final and second surgery is still pending, for which the date has not yet been set. We are thankful for Lawik’s progress and pray that it would continue. God bless Lawik’s mother who is so faithful in caring for her son.

Even though we in the Shevet community somehow get used to seeing babies in ICUs, it sometimes still breaks my heart. This little boy that I would love to take back into my arms, is lying there with an open chest and a lot of cables on him.

Over the weekend and the holidays, we heard from his mom that Lawik is struggling a lot. He had a lot of fluid in his body and also some in his lungs, his oxygen dropped once and there were also problems with his blood pressure. But the doctors were able to stabilize him, reduce the fluid and were also able to slowly reduce his medications. These are good steps for him and we are so thankful for it.

Lawik still has too much fluid in his body. Due to this, the doctors are not sure if they are able to do his next surgery yet. They want to meet tomorrow and discuss whether they will close his chest or tighten his PA band and then close the chest before he will have his big switch surgery.

His amazing mom is faithfully standing by his side, telling me that the doctors see that he is doing better. She was so happy to see us again today and proudly showed me how Lawik was moving his little hands.

Please continue to pray for our little boy! He needs our prayers so much.

When we arrived at the Sheba Hospital Pediatric ICU, the nurses told us that because of hygiene, with Lawik’s chest still open, we shouldn’t go inside.  His mother said that a lot of moisture has been removed from Lawik.  She is positive about how things are going.  The doctor said Lawik is stable.

Now we have to wait for further recovery before the next operation can take place.  We sat in the waiting room and talked with Lawik’s mother, and some other women in the waiting room.  Thankful for these other families in hospital, as they encourage each other in these difficult times.

Father God your strength and wisdom is so necessary!!

The sun comes up, it’s a new day dawning;
It’s time to sing Your song again.
Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me,
Let me be singing when the evening comes.

This describes pretty well the feelings of coworkers Jonas, Petra and myself this early morning as we were driving to hospital for Lawik’s surgery. Lawik and his mother were becoming such dear friends to us in the last three weeks, all that time we spent together with them in our house. Lawik’s mom, who loves to make jokes with and about all of us volunteers, called me often Lawik’s second mother and that’s how I felt when our little boy went into his surgery this morning. We arrived just when they took him into the preparation room, so I could kiss his hands and pray for him before he left. I can’t imagine how hard it had to be for his mom, as it already broke my heart to see this little boy go.

In the surgery today the doctors planned to put a band around his pulmonary artery in preparation for his big surgery to switch his arteries. It was supposed to only take two to three hours, so when I looked at my phone and saw that he was already more than four hours in the OR, I started to become more and more nervous. His mother was, thank God, able to sleep a few hours. I was sitting next to her, praying for our little boy as the time was passing by.

After five and a half hours, we got the message from his surgeon that Lawik is not very stable and we became even more worried about him. When his mom woke up shortly afterwards and asked if Lawik was back in his room, I had to tell her this hard news. She first didn’t realize it, but then burst into tears. We encouraged her, prayed with her and for her, while she was looking again and again through the doors leading to the OR. After six and a half hours we finally heard the relieving news: Lawik is back in his room and is stable for now!

Later the surgeon told us that they decided in the surgery to also create a BT shunt added to the pulmonary artery band. This is a big change in the circulation of the blood which was hard for Lawik’s weak heart to handle. They needed to give his body a lot of time to adjust to the new situation and to react to the medicine they gave him to stabilize him. They decided to leave his chest open to be able to react faster in case he deteriorates and maybe they will leave it open until he gets his switch surgery. This wasn’t easy news but his mother took it very well: “for now the time to worry is over and next time we pray that God will have mercy on him.” She kept thanking and praising God and that’s what we want to do at the end of this day.

I was listening to the song 10,000 reasons a few times during the waiting time. One line says:

“For all Your goodness I will keep on singing,
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find.“

It was hard to see my little boy that I just had in my arms yesterday now lying in his ICU bed with an open chest but still there are enough reasons to thank God for! Thank you Lord for protecting Lawik today. Thank you that he can be here in Israel and for all the doctors and nurses at Sheba! Thank you for his wonderful mother! Please bless her and Lawik and heal our little baby! Thank you that he is in your hands!

Today was a really tough day for Lawik as well as his mother. Even so it was just an admission to hospital, because of his major surgery tomorrow, everything took a long time which was really heavy for his mother. During the whole procedure she worried for her son and sometimes couldn’t hold back her tears. I know that it must be very hard for her, alone in a different country and fighting for the life of her son. So I tried to comfort her and reassure her that the doctors know what they are doing and that her son is in good hands. Thankfully Lawik’s mother can speak not only English, but also Arabic, so that she can communicate to the doctors and nurses as well as the other moms in hospital. She already made a friend with one of the moms during her stay with us in Ashdod, which is a great relief for us.

Before Lawik could go to his room in the ICU, he needed an ECG and Echo. The doctors explained they wanted to measure his heart to compare it to the size after the surgery. That’s why the Echo took a long time. Lawik didn’t like the echo at all and also was really tired as he couldn’t sleep well at night in the past. The doctors who did the echo were really patient with him and took their time to treat him carefully. Because Lawik didn’t stop crying, the doctor just took him in her own arms and waited until he fell asleep. After that they could finally start the echo and while one of them held Lawik in her arms, the other one was doing the echo. Lawik didn’t complain at all and after some time they were finally finished. For me personally it was so great to see that not only do we care for these little children, but also the doctors and nurses at Sheba Hospital do. They stayed by Lawik’s side and made sure he was okay before they would start treating him.

A bit troubling however was when the doctors in the ward tried to take a blood sample from Lawik, but didn’t succeed. In the end, one of the doctors told me to stay out of the room with Lawik’s mother until they were finished because it would have been really hard for Lawik’s mother to watch them trying to put the IV canal on his arm or somewhere else while Lawik was crying non-stop. It took longer than we expected, so Elise and I decided to just pray for Lawik and his doctors. Right after I spoke out the words to help the doctors, one nurse came out of the ICU and said that we could come back. Unfortunately they didn’t succeed, but told us they would try again in the evening.

Surely it was a tough day for everybody, especially for Lawik’s mom who was really worried and tired the whole day. Please pray for this little boy and his big surgery tomorrow. And also for his mother, who is only thinking about her son. Today she said several times that as long as Lawik is good, she is also fine. How greater can the love of a mother be than this?

After his providential late-night admission to Sheba Hospital last night, little Lawik is doing very well. His oxygen was surprisingly good today, in the high eighties even without nasal support.

He had an echo today, and the doctors hope to make a surgery plan next week. His mother is very optimistic, and is happy that her son is safely in the hospital. She is a bit nervous about his upcoming surgery, but she is very brave.

Please pray for wisdom as the doctors make decisions for Lawik, and for courage and patience for his mother as she waits.

When I checked Lawik’s oxygen first thing this morning, it was only in the sixties – a degree lower than what is normal for him and what it is supposed to be. So during the highest holiday in Israel, that is Yom Kippur, I kept checking his oxygen every couple of hours; it was sometimes going up, sometimes going down.

His mom was slowly getting more and more worried, so we decided this evening after the end of the holiday, that it was best to bring him to Sheba Hospital. Only a few hours after we were walking on the highway – there are no cars on the road for this holiday – and watching a lot of kids having fun there with their scooters and bikes, we were driving over the same highway with the car to an ER.

Within only one half hour after we arrived in the ER, one of the cardiologists saw Lawik and within minutes decided to admit Lawik to the ICU. We waited a few hours until his x-ray, ECG, ultrasound and blood test were done until we finally, shortly after midnight, went upstairs to his room in the intermediate ICU.

The kind nurse and doctor started with the admitting process while one of the moms from Gaza said hello to us and welcomed Lawik’s mother. As Lawik’s oxygen was once again going down to the fifties, I was just so thankful that he was now in the hospital, being watched by doctors and getting the best care possible.

It was a long day, not only for Lawik, but also for us and his mom, and yet we could still laugh a lot.Thank God Lawik is safe now with his mom at Sheba. We pray for blessing on Lawik and safety until his surgery, and strength for his mom.